There are some people named “she”
Who want, to a man’s heart, the key
So they wear a disguise
For their tits, hips, and eyes
To find men who will “love me for me.”
Tag Archives: Humor
That’ll Wake You Up!
Some people pour milk in their coffee.
Some people pour milk in their tea.
This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.
It was as you’d expect it to be.
Filed under Poems
True Dat… Lmao
I wanted to pass the Turing test.
I tried and tried my very best.
But I used an apostrophe when I spelled “theyre.”
They called me a bot but I didn’t care.
Filed under Poems
Great Name, Slightly-Maggoty Flavor
If I were a fruit
I would be a dragonfruit
‘Cause no one eats those.
Filed under Poems
What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn
If birds ate at restaurants
I imagine KFC
Would be a lot more popular.
The reason might just be
That folks would eat at restaurants
Where birds would frequent less.
You might think that’s racist
But that’s my fairest guess.
Filed under Poems
*Cough* It Helps A LOT *Cough*
There once was an irreverent poet
With a blog, and he wanted to grow it
But with few likes per post
The internet host
Told google results not to show it.
Filed under Poems
And Then There Were Just 14 Balls
I asked a higher being,
The all-knowing and all seeing
If I should turn my life around
Or stay the same, all safe and sound.
I saw a vision in the blue
And what it said had to be true.
I summoned my courage and focused my zen.
It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”
Filed under Poems
Someone In Delaware, Get On This Please!
As Uber and Lyft are to taxis,
As AirB&B is to lodging
We need a low-cost solution
To enable the art of tax-dodging.
Uber and Lyft are slang and misspellings.
AirB&B is the service plus “air.”
I suggest “AirTyght” for our no-tax service
And if you disagree I don’t care.
Filed under Poems
Me Too/Two/To
After my boss said “You’re fired”
I bought the Harley I’d always admired
But without my car
I don’t travel too far.
I think it’s because I’m two-tired.
Filed under Poems
I’m Not Advocating Kidnapping, But…
We once had damsels in distress
And knights to ride to their aid.
Although the knights and damsels are gone
The distress somehow has stayed.
As the all-knowing poet
I have a solution of course:
We need more women who love dragons
And fewer men who own a horse.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 