So memes are illegal in California
And guns are illegal in cities
And being illegal is totally legal
And we still haven’t freed the titties?
Tag Archives: poems
Of All The Laws That Could Backfire Magnificently, THAT’S Where You Draw The Line?
Filed under Poems
It’s A Stalemate, By The Way. You’re Welcome
Oh muse, you flighty angel
Who fills my mind with light,
Why can’t you come when I’m working
And not the middle of the night,
For when I lay my head upon
My pillow, soft and dark,
I do not want to think about
Who would win: A truck or a shark.
Filed under Poems
Heck, Even C3PO Ended Up Shooting People…
Remember when the movies
Had awesome robot pals
Like R2, Gort, the Terminator,
Bender, Ultron, and Hal?
Remember how these robots
All were murderous piles of chrome?
And now I ask: why would you want
A robot in your home?
Filed under Poems
Cletus Prepares For Hurricane Charlene
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.
Ninety-nine bottles of beer…
The weather is dicey
But plywood is pricey
Thus ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall!
Filed under Poems
Port-au-Prince Palace Anyone?
We’ve talked about Chinese food
Being cats for many a year
And I have to ask if Haitians
Are missing a franchise opportunity here…
Filed under Poems
Running In The Family?
Would it be awful
If I ate a waffle
Instead of nutrition for dinner?
Not so, my lad!
No, a waffle ain’t bad
But you’ll have to work hard to get thinner.
Would it be ok
If I sat for a day
And watched TV and ate cheese?
Sure, sloth is fun
If you go for a run
To make sure you don’t get obese.
Thanks dad. You’re wise!
I guess me and the guys
Will eat waffles and cheese and relax,
Then we’ll go for a run
When the vegging is done
So our bellies don’t spill from our slacks!
Hey son, I see
Your weight starts with a three
And is neither four digits nor two.
Yeah dad, turns out
Running didn’t work out
But at least now I look more like you!
Filed under Poems
Knights May Be Scarce, But Fairies Are Thriving
You know how the female fantasy
Used to be being held in a tower
Until a brave prince came a calling,
Slayed a dragon, and exercised power?
Well, now the female fantasy
Is to be the brave dragon who can
And wondering why the princes won’t die
To save damsels who don’t need a man.
Filed under Poems
Little Did We Know, Fido Was The Lucky One
The fact it’s been 24 hours
Since our commander-in-chiefs-to-be stood
And spoke live in front of the nation
About everything they think is good
And all we remember is laughing
At foreigners eating a pet
Is a sign of the fun we’ll be having
In the bunkers without internet.
Filed under Poems
Debate Recap 2024
So Tuesday night on ABC
Two candidates arrived
And competed for whose speeches
Sounded the least contrived.
Some faces asked them questions
Which neither deigned to answer.
It assured me of my decision:
That it’s time to vote for cancer.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 