There once was a bat from Wuhan
Who bad people did some work on.
It got fed up one day
And just flew away
And just like that two years are gone!
Tag Archives: Poetry
Domesticity 2.0
I built two homes in my mind
On a foundation of good intent.
One was perfect, charming, yellow,
But alas away it went.
The second house is red and black
And full of song and sharing,
And though it also may away
It’s worthy of my daring.
This darker home reminds me
Of the prayers I spoke when young,
Of Autumn wind and springtime rain
And hymns borne from my tongue,
A home of possibilities
Where nothing goes unsaid.
God willing, we’ll build it together;
Until then, it’s in my head.
Filed under Poems
Arrive At Five Bro
When you drive to pick her up
And leave at 4:15
She says she’ll be ready in 10 minutes
But we the wise have seen
That when a woman tells you
When she’ll be ready is the same
As the way the measure how long’s left
At the end of a football game.
Filed under Poems
Not To Mention It Bends And Temporarily Stays But Never Creases…
The world today is quite a mess,
Rife with fear and doubt and stress,
But what if free on every street
You could grab a fancy sheet
Of laminated paper to
Shake up and down a time or two
And hear that “thubbackthwubback” noise
‘Til smiles return to the girls and boys?
Filed under Poems
Sparks Will Fly!
I don’t know that it’s a good idea
To have an online dating site
For wrestlers and martial artists
Who like to both travel and fight.
The clientele might be a limited bunch
But the site’s name would have such aplomb:
I for one would sign up at once
For StrikeAnywhereMatch.com
Filed under Poems
Works On 5-Year-Olds, So…
Instead of sending crooks to jail
What if we made them eat kale?
I think they’d say that I’m a hero
For the idea that reduced all crime to zero.
Filed under Poems
Hogwarts, 2021
If you think a Banshee’s scream is bad
You have never heard
The scream of the mythical Banthey
When one’s been misgendered.
Filed under Poems
Bad With Names? Try This One Simple Trick That Oprah Said Is “No Comment”
If everyone in the entire world
Named their kids “Steve Penn”
We’d never have to sign our name
On anything again,
Never have an awkward moment
When you wake up in bed
With someone whose name you forgot…
Just say “Hey Steve” instead!
You’d never wear a name tag,
Never forget who wrote a play…
Everyone would win on Jeopardy
And movie credits would go away.
It’s such a great idea
That I hardly have to sell it,
Even though if everyone’s share’s the name
Baristas would still misspell it.
We would have an era of peace
If everyone were named “Steve Penn.”
That is, until people used middle names
And the chaos returned again…
Filed under Poems
Sorry Mr. President, But You Can’t Come Back To Disneyland
Everything was going well
Until I ate that Taco Bell…
For one glorious ride I was a fountain
In the very first car upon Splash Mountain.
Filed under Poems
It Was A Valiant Effort At Least…
There once was a poet I knew
Who wrote poems at 11:52.
Tonight he was inspired
To write before he got tired
But, alas, tonight’s poem sucks too…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 