Tag Archives: Postaday

The Bible, Basically

Every single second

Of every single day

You have the chance to change your life

And live a better way,

To turn off the autopilot

And let your thoughts run free,

To say goodbye to who you were

And welcome who you want to be.

Every single moment

In every person’s life

Comes with bits you wish would simply

Get impaled by a knife.

Sloth and greed and gluttony

Will leave you be, you’ll find,

If you toughen up and stab them

With the power of your mind.

You’re an amazing creature

Who can do amazing things.

You’re why the spider scurries

And you’re why the bluebird sings.

Your dreams can all be conquered

So show them you’re the dude!

Yours truly, God/Yweh.

Lol Jk you’re screwed!

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Camping Proclamation

When in the course

Of human events

We leave our homes

To live in tents

We write poems on topics

Irrelevant to the season

So if this poem’s turnaround seems abrupt

Probably slavery’s the reason.

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Not Your Average Blackbirds

Three grey crows

Walk into a bar

Where liberals make jokes

About how white they are.

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???mism

Glass half-empty,

Glass half-full:

Whole debate

Is kind of dull.

Glass is folded

In a ball.

I don’t get

This debate at all.

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The Dinner Date

Socializing’s when you find

People you dislike the least

And gather anxiously

To waste money on a feast

While imbibing neurotoxins

To make the evening fun

Then compete to talk the most

Until you all agree “we’re done.”

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Rental Property In A College Town

So you’re in need of housing

And you’re the budget-concious type, right?

Well I’ve got an arrangement

That will surely have you swipe right!

Now, first impressions matter

But second chances matter more

So don’t pass too harsh a judgement

Just ’cause it doesn’t have a door.

The walls have unique colors

But all’s not what it seems.

Some folks don’t think it looks at all

Like puke and shattered dreams.

If you’re one who likes hunting

But like to stay inside the walls

You can satisfy both longings

With wild game that roams the halls.

When it rains you won’t need faucets.

When its hot a breeze comes in.

When it’s cold you’ll make a fire,

Which in my book is a win.

So if your shattered ego

Is numb enough to stay

You’ll get the cheapest rent in town:

A thousand bucks a day!

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North and Whyknown’uh Approve

Parents these days think names

Are unique if spelled a different way.

Alas we end up asking

“How do you spell William with a K?”

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Engineers Talk About Love

They say when you love something

Time will stand still.

I think love’s correlated

With my watch-repair bill.

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KOA Circa 1801

Sparks rise into the cold black air.

We the living huddle by the source.

We’ve a pail of frigid water to wash our hair

And the lot of us smell more or less like horse.

The moon is but a crack in gloomy midnight.

Our dinner was a lukewarm can of beans.

We’re thirsty after hours in harsh sunlight

But there’s no clean water to fill up our canteens.

Somewhere in the blackness comes a growling

And we dare not leave our camp to take a piss.

All the while Daddy is a smiling

While the rest of the family thinks “we paid for this?”

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Times Getting-Old-Now Roman

One of the items

On my list of wants

Is the power to speak

In different fonts.

The power of Impact,

Or Arial’s even measure…

The freedom to choose

Would be such a treasure!

But alas in this world

Of fontless death and birth

We’re trapped in a state

Of Helvetica on Earth.

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