Poems are like people
By which I mean to say
Occasionally you laugh at them
But also wish they’d go away.
Tag Archives: Silly
The Problem With Quotes
Just because a wise man said it
Doesn’t make it wise.
A wise man says “No bacon for me,”
But, plot twist! He eventually dies.
Filed under Poems
100% True
This poem is like
A blue-footed booby:
It makes some people laugh
And won’t have any significant impact on your life…
Shadooby.
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But People With Pet Spiders…
If you have a snake for a pet
I think it’s a pretty safe bet
That you have one or two kidneys.
You thought this would end differently?
How judgmental can you get?
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Sarsaparilla Is Southern After All…
I opened a bottle of root beer
And smiled at the sweetness and fizz.
You probably don’t think that sounds racist
But I’m white, so it probably is.
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That’ll Wake You Up!
Some people pour milk in their coffee.
Some people pour milk in their tea.
This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.
It was as you’d expect it to be.
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True Dat… Lmao
I wanted to pass the Turing test.
I tried and tried my very best.
But I used an apostrophe when I spelled “theyre.”
They called me a bot but I didn’t care.
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What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn
If birds ate at restaurants
I imagine KFC
Would be a lot more popular.
The reason might just be
That folks would eat at restaurants
Where birds would frequent less.
You might think that’s racist
But that’s my fairest guess.
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And Then There Were Just 14 Balls
I asked a higher being,
The all-knowing and all seeing
If I should turn my life around
Or stay the same, all safe and sound.
I saw a vision in the blue
And what it said had to be true.
I summoned my courage and focused my zen.
It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”
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Me Too/Two/To
After my boss said “You’re fired”
I bought the Harley I’d always admired
But without my car
I don’t travel too far.
I think it’s because I’m two-tired.
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The Daily Travesty 