There’s a deer in the bathroom.
Its name, we don’t know.
We’ve decided to call her
By the name of “John Doe.”
Tag Archives: Silly
And The Bells Did Not Chime That Morning
I won’t give you the time of day
‘Cause, of the clock, I’m in the way.
(This line’s just setting up the final rhyme).
You’re the morning-bells’s knocker,
And you’d call me a clock-blocker
Except, of course, you haven’t got the time.
Filed under Poems
What’s A Furry Anyway?
Dogs are lovely.
Cats are not.
I guess It’s inappropriate
To call either of them “hot.”
Filed under Poems
Not A Peppy Pepsi Poem
I wanted to write something witty
About coaxing cans of Coke
Somehow involving slang cocaine
But then my noggin broke.
Now I’m writing a poem
About how my dreams aren’t coming true.
Sounds like 2017
To me. How ’bout to you?
Filed under Poems
An Excerpt From Baltimore’s “Most Popular Baby Names”
I really don’t think I shoulda
Named my child Barracuda.
At first I thought I’d go with Sid,”
And now I wish did,
But when I named him I was living in the hood-a.
Filed under Poems
Cletus The Storm Trooper’s Country Song
I went to the range
To learn how to shoot.
I had me a gun
For to have me a hoot.
I pulled me a trigger
And I used my head
And thanks to my prudence
No targets ended up dead!
Filed under Poems
JurASSic Park?
I’ve debated for a while
The moral consequences
Of selling my body for money.
But when I undress
I find to my distress
That people just think it is funny.
So I hired somebody
Who looks a bit like me
To portray me in screenwritten sex.
He’s an older man
With a history in movies
Named Tyrannosaurus Rexxx.
Filed under Poems
I Stole These Jokes And Made Them Rhyme… You’re Welcome
A Mexican magician
Was the epitome of grace.
He would count “uno, dos,”
Then disappear without a tres.
He did this trick in Europe.
When he reappeared he said “mama mia!”
Then he asked “can you see me now?”
And the crowd said: “Yes, oui, si, ja.”
Filed under Poems
Why Not “Sally?”
Everyone compares me to Godzilla,
Which is weird because she’s ugly and I’m cute.
She’s a monster, but I’m an ordinary teenager.
Guess that’s what happens when your name is “Satanewt.”
Filed under Poems
Dating A 30-Year-Old
You ask will I love you
When you’re not a young lass,
When your hair’s gray and saggy
And so is your ass,
When the passion is gone
And the money is thin
And everything hurts
‘Neath our wrinkly skin.
Our hands come together
And I look straight at you.
“Of course I will darling!
“I already do.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 