Category Archives: Poems

For The One

I love how ordinary days

Can set my heart alight.

I love the normal, glorious ways

Your face can glow so bright,

How just to fall asleep with you

Makes my entire week

And how many ways we say “I love you”

With eyes and blushing cheeks.

I’m glad I make you feel safe

When life just isn’t fair.

My heart is yours and much more full

Than my poor head of hair.

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Good Night Already!

Sometimes you do what you need to do;

Sometimes you do what you don’t.

Sometimes my thoughts will be deeper than this

But most of the time they won’t.

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Dreamland

No matter your age or your weight or your sex,

If you like Raisin Bran or prefer Chex,

There comes a time when the day is all done

You bid fond farewell to the moon and the sun

And fade into fancy, a limerent land

Where nothing is normal and banished is bland,

Where poets can prosper and perchance partake

In fantasy simply for fantasy’s sake.

I wish you good venture into such a place

As the slackness of sleep falls fast on your face.

Sleep now, and linger beyond the awake

Where nothing is real but nothing is fake.

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All Part Of A Complete Breakfast

The toaster makes you crispy bread.

The fridge chills out your meals.

The plate will hold your citrus fruit

And the garbage holds the peels.

The dishwasher will clean things up

And there’s cereal on the shelf.

The pit trap on the front porch

Means you enjoy it by yourself.

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Petty Thoughts

One Wednesday a mouse got into the house

Of the woman I love, heart and soul.

She has a cat who’s remarkably fat

But knows not its mouse-catching role.

Her friends have a pug. He’s remarkably ugly

In an adorable way.

He got rewarded because we reported

He pooped twice in the same day.

All of these pets and the prizes they get

Cannot help my heart softly wish

That just for a day I was treated the way

The people I love treat their fish.

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I’m Officially Trademarking The Pathetic Two-Liner

Tonight we played games ‘til 11:00 PM

Which is a good reason for short poems ™

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She Even Reads My Bad Poems ❤️

Once in a while you meet someone nice,

And once a year someone ideal,

But once in a lifetime you might meet a person

Who’s someone entirely real;

Who burps like a hippo and sleeps like a kitten

With hair that demands that you pet it;

They’ll go out of their way to buy baby corn

Though it took them two Safeways to get it.

Sometimes that person is one of a kind,

Someone faithful and honest and true,

And your only job is forgetting to doubt

That their perfect partner is you.

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Haiku, Because Obviously

At my girlfriend’s house…

Use your imagination

Or don’t… that’s your call

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It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends

Toses ate ted

Violets ate blue.

Appatently changing a lettet

Makes things hungty, ctew!

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Modern Presidents

There once was a democracy

Of half a billion, plus me.

The others said no,

But I said yes, so

You are my slaves. Hee hee hee.

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