Category Archives: Poems

Holding On And Letting Go

It’s not because she loved him

That she held the stranger’s hand

As she stepped aboard the Gallant

Which would take her from the land

Where the nightly cold and hunger

And the daily war and tears

Were all she’d ever known about

For all her 16 years.

It’s not because of longing

That she watched the coastline fade

As the sounds of need grew silent

Beneath the ocean’s serenade,

And it wasn’t to remember

That she fumbled through the sack

That contained some dirty souvenirs

The few she’d time to pack.

She held and she remembered

And she watched and she was sad

To lose her lonely, painful home:

All that she ever had.

It wasn’t for nostalgia

That she spent her many nights

Remembering the land of famine

Where she had no rights

Even though she had a new home

In a land of peace and rain.

It was simply that she knew

She’d never see that home again.

She held on and remembered

Before she slept, and she was glad

To now be somewhere better

Than the only home she’d had.

The refugee became a nurse

By the time she was all grown

In the only land of promise

That she had ever known.

She helped the people coming

From the homes they left behind

Who, like her, were forever

With their homelands intertwined.

Still she held on and remembered

To now distant fear and strife

And she turned her eyes to helping

Others make a better life.

She never knew the gentleman

Who held her hand that year

With the eyes that stared uncertainly

At his passing drawing near,

But she whispered to him gently

Through the hours of the night:

When you leave a home of pain behind

You’ll go somewhere alright.

He held on and remembered

And saw and understood

And closed his eyes and sailed off

To somewhere that was good.

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A New Study Finds All This Began In 1960 When A Straight White Man Refused To Get Vaccinated

The average guy is a virgin.

The average girl is a hoe.

You can get a college degree

To combat toxic masculinity…

How’d we get here? I don’t know.

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I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CHARGE TO MAKE ME FEEL HEALTHY WHILE I DO NOTHING!

There was a time without taxes,

A time without corporate spying,

And if you believe the Bible there was

A time without even dying.

But one timeless thing that has always been

Through every era and age

Is that no gym will ever show

Non-promotional prices on their front page.

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Tennis: 15, Baseball: Love (Football 6 +1 or +2)

The people writing the baseball rulebook

Really wrote down things like:

“When you throw a ball and it isn’t a ball

But it doesn’t get hit it’s a strike.”

But the people who wrote the tennis book

Just smiled, or so says the lore,

When they revealed their brand new way

To calculate the score.

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Still No Cure For Cancer Though…

Every minute of every day

72 hours of film is uploaded and sent

Onto Youtube, and yet still people say

“Why’s there no good new content?”

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Why IT Folks Have The Best Job Security

You hear me say, you hear me holler:

“Another day, another dollar.”

My boss says hey, my boss says “So,

“We bought a bot. You got to go.”

So I reply, so I concur:

“I don’t know why, but I guess sure.”

Then I left with a smile, since

My boss bought the bot from a Nigerian prince.

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Never Again

To my one and only who left me to cry

Just a month after love in the month of July:

I hope in my heart you are happy and well

Though I know I won’t see you again!

To the one whom I sang to by river and trail

Without even a thought that our kinship could fail:

I hope in my heart that you’re singing right now

With a voice I’ll hear never again!

To the one I confided in joy and in pain,

Whom I kissed on a bridge in the darkness and rain:

I hope in my heart that you’ll never be lonely

Though I’ll never caress you again!

To the heart that you broke that is healing tonight

I promise you’ll once again feel alright!

I hope you keep hoping and loving forever,

For hoping for love is a worthy endeavor,

And because you loved once you’ll be light as a feather

Even if you love never again!

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When The Man Upstairs Is Protecting You Against The Dangers Of Premarital Sex

I like to imagine that somewhere in Heaven

God is fighting a war

To defend me from many females who’d do any

Thing to show me how they adore

All that I am. Yes, God is that great

That he beats women off with a stick

So I can be alone, never answer my phone…

Yes, faith in the Lord does the trick.

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Thanks College!

Upon one hazy evening

Beneath the colored leaves

A poet kneels softly

And in the silence grieves.

Upon seeing this visage

A bright young student stands,

Walks towards the poet’s place

And with a screech demands

“Did you really write a poem

“That describes the leaves as ‘colored?’

“I find that language offensive

“And conclude you are a dullard!”

The poet still kneels softly

Beneath the not-green leaves,

And now you understand human stupidity

Which is why the poet grieves.

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The Quickest Of Ego Boosts

If you’re feeling blue

Because Summer turned to Fall

Just change your name to Brandon

And learn to love football.

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