The top of the list of what shouldn’t exist
But exist they continue to do
Would probably be the letter C
But I think it should be the word “queue”.
Category Archives: Poems
What Do We Want? Catchy Slogan! Where Do We Want Them? On Premium Cardstock!
As people protest from the East to the West
Why aren’t more onlookers suspicious
Of the motives behind the folks who sell signs?
(Or is thinking such things inauspicious?)
Filed under Poems
Ode To Retiring At 65
I got through a day that was difficult
Like climbing the face of a hill
By sacrificing the strength if my body
And exercising my will.
Long are the days that I labor
But worthy are arduous climbs,
Or so I thought ‘til I realized
I have to do this 11,000 more times…
Filed under Poems
Yeah, Like My Coworkers Read My Blog… 😂
There once was a poet at work
(I’m at lunch, so naught do I shirk).
I ate quickly so
I cranked out a po
Em. How’s that for a quirk?
Filed under Poems
Buck Shot, But Not Well
Sometimes when it’s peaceful
In the evening by the stream
I like to lie beside the bank
And oh-so-gently dream
That as the humans hunt the deer
The deer hunt us the same,
But humans never notice this
‘Cause deer have lousy aim.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though
I is for the intimacy we have yet to share
M is for the the many ways I show you I care
N is for how no one can compare
E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”
V is for how very sorry I will claim to be
E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…
R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?
G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry
E is for how every day you give me another chance.
T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants
T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”
I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance
N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls
G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”
L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…
A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”
I is for I really wish I were a better dude
D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”
A is for apologizing for how I am lewd
G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…
A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”
I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.
N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.
! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.
Filed under Poems
Ode To J
What if there were a letter
That was pronounced like a Y,
But sometimes like DSH or an H
But it looked like a lowercase i?
The letter G would sounds like it
And it would be a name and a bird
And it would be madly exciting
But only if you are a nerd…
Filed under Poems
And I, For One, Think It’s Great*
There once was a fascist ideal
That stirred up political zeal.
It showed only news
Which supported its views
Then mandated we see its appeal.
*They have my family… help!
Filed under Poems
How To Make My Crush Fall Madly In Love With You
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Chocolate’s half price now
And I wonder… are you?
Filed under Poems
It Began As A Sleepy Soliloquy… It Ended As A Halftime Show
It’s past the time I need to go
To sleep, but here am I
Writing rhymes that rhyme sometimes
As many times I try
And why I try, I cannot lie,
Is just to try my luck
‘Cause I have no skill, but possibly still
I’ll be famous if I say white people suck.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 