Sometimes I love writing poems;
Of that there is no doubt.
But sometimes I’m like a single mom on welfare
Just tryin’ to crank another one out.
Category Archives: Poems
Mad Libs: Nature’s Gift To Difficult-To-Rhyme Words
Their humor’s derived
From the cognitive dissonance
From grammatical consistency
Despite nonsensical words.
Some think they’re contrived,
But some say they’re ____________.
I think they’re _____________
But then again I like nerds.
Advice To Passive-Aggressive Discussers Of All Things Political
Instead of intelligent conjecture
Or giving your opponent a lecture…
Just say “Hitler was right”
And boom! Have a fight.
Filed under Poems
Another Once-Great Species Ruined
There once was an African lion
Who was handsome and noble and clever.
He wanted his head to be put on a wall
So he could be admired forever.
Alas, some American vegans
Made a law that to hunt him was banned
So know he stays home in the evenings
And watches MGM films on demand.
Filed under Poems
It Started So Well…
You need rain to make a rainbow.
You need rain to make a plant grow.
You need rain to have water fall from the sky
And that, gals and gents, is how inspirational quotes die.
Filed under Poems
After Monkeys Throw Down
Monkey see monkey doo.
Monkey cleans up monkey poo.
Monkey reminds, for everyone’s sake
That difference a comma and an “o” can make.
Filed under Poems
You Won’t Believe The Monkey’s Side Of The Story!
As we ran around the Mulberry bush
I thought that all was well.
Then the weasel was all like “Pop!”
And I was like “Dude, what the Hell?”
California, Son
I wish I could go to the beach
Without hearing the word “impeach,”
Could drive my car for quite a while
And go more than a half a mile,
Could say the word “black”
And not draw stares.
It’s where everything matters
But nobody cares.
Filed under Poems
Hi Debbie!
If you were a prescription drug
I’d call you Trilambdakrip
Because the word is meaningless
Just like our relationship.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 