Tag Archives: Happiness

I Guess The Un-Levered Few Don’t Reproduce As Much

Somewhere around the first year ever

Somebody pulled a very wrong lever

And installed in the heads of the humans to come

What, on paper, looks brilliant but is really just dumb.

When man 1.0 emerged from the ocean

At the dawn of all time he was filled with the notion

That life as he knew it as far as he could see

Was something to be taken seriously

And a serious life, as he deemed at that time

Was to have the most wealth in the light of the lime.

So man 1.0 went on to fight wars,

To invent Gods and whiskey and sliding glass doors

Each sincerely believing his life was endowed

By something that made his life special somehow.

And meanwhile the malfunctions who wanted no power

Would sleep in on Sunday and sing in the shower

And wholeheartedly laugh at the hard-working host

Knowing he who wants least will end up with the most.

And so it continues by chance or by fate

That despite each progressive human update

The lever once thrown has not yet been undone

Thus why so many people have so little fun.

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But Then People Won’t Think Everything In My Life Is Perfect And Be Indifferent/Slightly Insecure About The Whole Thing!

There’s something to be said

For chatting without snap,

Books without face,

Interacting without that crap…

Gramming that’s not instant,

Interests that aren’t pins,

Singing without tweeting.

Real friends don’t need log-ins.

I think our society’s forgotten

The value of offline truth

So why not forget your password

And go enjoy your youth?

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The Pleasures Of Discomfort

Today I stood out in the rain

And didn’t wear my hood.

It was frigid and soggy, yes,

But still felt pretty good.

I stood and looked at nothing much

And let the boredom grow

And those tiny discomforts helped

Much more than you can know.

I talked to her at a bus stop

And watched her walk away.

I’m stronger from the fire, now

A pot instead of clay.

And as I walk home in a pair

Of shoes devoid of style

Empty pockets will warm my hands.

My whole being is a smile.

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The Solvers and The Havers

Most men enjoy solving problems;

It gives them a meaningful life.

Alas, this is not something wanted

By most men’s eventual wife.

A man will fix up an auto,

A house, a business, a toy,

But it’s not solving problems but having them

That I’ve noticed most women enjoy.

A woman takes pleasure in saying

“I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m gross,”

Because other women say “me too”

And by such connection grow close.

If a man tells another “I’m hungry”

Another will say “have a snack”

And the problem is solved with five words

And the men to their task may go back.

Now the trouble occurs when the solvers

Treat problem-lovers the same:

A woman says “I’m bored,” and the man

Says “go play a video game.”

Now if the woman obeys him

She’ll prob’ly no longer be bored

And thus need another discomfort

Until her drama-quota’s restored,

So the man has given a solution

Which really won’t help her a bit

So she says “you don’t understand me!”

And runs off and calls him a git.

The man is confused by her answer

But has a solution to that:

He says to himself “bitch be crazy”

And then changes the sink in his flat.

So men, if you want to help women

Be happy then here’s what to do:

Have lots of flaws in your character

So she’ll always have drama with you.

And women, you know how to please a man

And don’t need advising from me,

But (as a man I must say this)

Without drama how happy you’ll be!

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Not Racist, Just Comfy

I find it funny that those who fought

For an inclusive ideology

Now think that those with “normal” thoughts

Owe outsiders apologies,

That those who culturally kill their kind

Are morally superior

To those who really do not mind

If you’re black, a chick, or queerier,

That while we wear our pale skin

And external genitalia

If we don’t call these things a sin

Then somehow you think we failed ya.

But I’m content and keen to keep

My straight white male role.

My life I live, my crops I reap

In a neighborhood safe to stroll.

So if you wave your protest signs

They’ll not change how I see.

You will not find me cryin’

Because I know it’s fine to be me.

So please don’t give me an earful.

I’m happy being cheerful.

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The Stakes Are Low And The Cakes Are Dry

I baked a cake in the microwave,

Forgot my keys, chose not to shave.

I wore white jeans after labor day

And yet somehow I’m still okay.

I woke up at 6:00 and stayed in bed ’til noon,

Thinking both times were a bit too soon.

I left dishes in the sink and clothes on the line

Yet somehow the world turned out just fine.

I freudian-slipped that Rosebud was a sled

And nobody minded or ended up dead.

I’ve done this and more and I won’t lie:

It’s great to be a single guy!

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Was That A Buzz? Could Be Important…

Smell the golden ocean’s breeze,

See the twinkling distant shore.

The flashing red of car brakes

Shine like Christmas at sunset.

The city’s sound is footsteps

On a snowy concrete floor.

And in that eternal moment

Life’s as good as it can get.

The Gods look down in wonder

From wherever they may be

And the windy shaking cedars

Loose a low ecstatic moan.

And in that time and space is love

For all the world to see

Except for all the people

Who think “I should check my phone.”

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They Told Me To Find My Passion… (AKA My Tool Is Longer Than Yours)

As my eyes met the tape measure

I felt the fire rear up in my heart

And I knew that in the future

I could measure

In metric or imperial units

How high those heart-flames soared.

Some people mocked my passion,

Said I’m weird for longing

To know how long my longing was,

But I say its better than being bored.

When I feel that need to now how I feel

And I pull out that flexible metal bar

And with each box, each wall I measure

The heavens ring with a music

Only it and I can hear,

A cord’s secret chord.

And somewhere in that tape measure

That sings our hidden music

I hope its heart is happy

Knowing my pocket will be its home

And gone are the days

When its passions were ignored.

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This Losing Thing Is Underrated

At first today my heart was pained

By knowing every team

In the NFL I cared about

This year had lost their dream.

Then my brain switched on a light

And I did realize

Two teams I strongly dislike

Have to get hit by guys twice my size,

That excellence and victory

Brought them 4 weeks of extra pain

For a 50/50 shot

At a trophy they might gain.

And somewhere betwixt my brain and heart

I realized how futile are rings and crowns

And found new admiration

For the 49ers and the Browns.

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Except For Your Desire To Like And Follow This Blog… That’s A Healthy And Natural Desire

Release your expectations,

Let your preconceptions go,

And feel the endless universe

Again begin to flow

And the morons who surround you

And the stupid crap they say

Will be caught in freedom’s current

And finally wash away.

So give up on the must haves,

The shoulds, the oughts, the wants,

Ignore the could-be-betters

And the little human taunts.

Give up on perfection,

On how “great” looks in your mind

And you’ll find new satisfaction

On the blank slate left behind.

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