I voted today for the president.
Then with my civic duty complete
I played Mario Party with teenagers
And had waffles with whipped cream to eat.
Tag Archives: Life
Magic The Gathering
There once was a guy from Renton
Who got to work on inventin’
Some colorful cards
Full of dragons and bards
And now my bankroll is lamentin’
Filed under Poems
To All Of The Unsuccessful Influencers
If you ever feel like a failure
Know that someone made a living
From that video of Grandpa
Getting drunk that one Thanksgiving
But your video of falling
Off a bridge ain’t got no views…
So yeah, you fail at failing,
But isn’t that good news?
Filed under Poems
I Can Add “Princess Coach” To My Resumé Now
One of the benefits of being a poet
Is apparently you qualify
To go to a local high school
And coach (read “attempt to mollify”)
Some local pageant princesses
Who have to learn a speech
Because if you know English
You do not do; You teach!
Filed under Poems
Heck, Even C3PO Ended Up Shooting People…
Remember when the movies
Had awesome robot pals
Like R2, Gort, the Terminator,
Bender, Ultron, and Hal?
Remember how these robots
All were murderous piles of chrome?
And now I ask: why would you want
A robot in your home?
Filed under Poems
Running In The Family?
Would it be awful
If I ate a waffle
Instead of nutrition for dinner?
Not so, my lad!
No, a waffle ain’t bad
But you’ll have to work hard to get thinner.
Would it be ok
If I sat for a day
And watched TV and ate cheese?
Sure, sloth is fun
If you go for a run
To make sure you don’t get obese.
Thanks dad. You’re wise!
I guess me and the guys
Will eat waffles and cheese and relax,
Then we’ll go for a run
When the vegging is done
So our bellies don’t spill from our slacks!
Hey son, I see
Your weight starts with a three
And is neither four digits nor two.
Yeah dad, turns out
Running didn’t work out
But at least now I look more like you!
Filed under Poems
Knights May Be Scarce, But Fairies Are Thriving
You know how the female fantasy
Used to be being held in a tower
Until a brave prince came a calling,
Slayed a dragon, and exercised power?
Well, now the female fantasy
Is to be the brave dragon who can
And wondering why the princes won’t die
To save damsels who don’t need a man.
Filed under Poems
An Introverted Friend Indeed…
Motivation is a friend
Who sets an inspiring tone
And would be a mighty ally
If they’d just pick up their phone…
Filed under Poems
Labor Day
Happy Monday everyone!
Take a day off! Have some fun!
This is your chance to relax and be free
By sitting for hours and watching TV!
Filed under Poems
Chck/Kchck
My pronouns are just
The sound of a pump shotgun
Loading one more shell
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 