Tag Archives: Life

Aria for Happy Fools and Background Noise

Our lives are like a song

In a language we don’t know.

Our feet tap to the beat of the world

When we feel that special flow.

It starts out as a whisper

And builds into the cry

Of a baby with the will to sing

But no knowledge how or why.

It may turn many corners.

It changes every verse.

The song always gets better

Even if it may sound worse.

Some songs will stop too suddenly

And some go on too long.

Since we don’t know what we’re singing

Why care if something’s wrong?

You can sing however’s comfortable.

When all is said and sung

I hope I’m singing nonsense

‘Til I get my iron lung!

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Plot Armor, Reality Edition (50% Off)

Wheresoever you should find

Yourself in trouble or a bind

Know that you will never fail

As the protagonist of your own tale.

The path of bullets shall amend

To prevent your untimely end.

Villains shall, when all is done,

See your point when you have won.

Love will find you in the dark.

Respect replaces scorn and snark.

And if instead you fail and fall…

No one minds, ’cause you weren’t the main character after all.

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The Truly Special Snowflake

I’m walking through the winter sky,

A bit if H2O,

Uniquely changed by hardship to

A tiny flake of snow.

My life is but a moment long,

But soft and cool and free.

My heart will always be cold as ice

So yours won’t have to be.

The mighty citadels of clouds

Are signs of what I was,

But I don’t mind departing, for

It’s what a snowflake does

So a kid at the windowsill

Will see me, clear and bright

And now that for a while still

The world will be alright.

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Egomaniacs Have Pronouns Too!

If you don’t want to hear

Someone say “him” or “her”

I’ll be okay

And I’ll probably say “sure.”

But why won’t you respect

My wishes when I

Ask to be referred to

As “thee most glorious and high?”

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Shouldn’t We Be Celebrating Veteran’s Day By Now?

On the first day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

A holiday that lasted less than two months

That I didn’t have to hear or see.

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Then It Said It’s Name Was “Officer Jenkins” And That I Was “Under Arrest”

I sat down one evening

On a recliner

When a voice unkindly arose.

“I’m not a chair”

Called the voice through the air,

From the recliner I suppose.

Now most times I sit

That’s basically it.

Seldom do seats tell me “no.”

So I just have to say

If stuff goes on this way

We must ask how far it will go!

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RIP Bob (1945-2014), Most Valuable Employee (2015-Present)

A lot of Toms and Dicks and Harrys

Think of death as something scary,

But I see little cause for fright

In the unknown of an endless night.

Say a chicken passed away.

Some would cry and weep and sway

But I would fry it in some lard

In lieu of writing a sympathy card.

So if a friend or neighbor dies

Would it not be equally wise

Not to equate God to a beast

But to sell the corpse to Fancy Feast?

And if you are the one to pass

Why not do it with some class?

You’re dead, but life need not end. How?

Well, some call centers are hiring now…

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Facebook “Conversations”

You know that feeling

When you have to sneeze but can’t

And your nose you already blew?

Imagine that feeling

For an hour or so.

That’s how it feels to be talking with you.

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The Honest Politician’s Prayer

I am a tree without a trunk,

A neck without a spine,

A car without a chassis,

A roller coaster with no line.

I’m an eskimo in Florida,

Someone humble in LA.

You’ve probably never seen me

And it’ll probably stay that way.

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An Only-Somewhat-Exaggerated Tale Of Today (Dedicated To Seth)

Today I drove a thousand miles

From WA to San Jose,

With a bunch of flaming morons

Tailgating me the whole way,

Weaving through the traffic

Like quilters yearning for death

All behind a mini cooper

Going 20 (License Plate: IMSETH).

As I recline, safe somehow,

On my Californian bed

A realization formed inside

My woeful weary head.

I-5 South, the freeway

A thousand miles through crazyville

Should better be renamed

The route of all evil.

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