She drove like she was asian.
She swam like she was black.
She jumped like a caucasian
With a dolphin on her back.
She wasn’t good at anything;
If she tried, she’d fail
But she was still ten-times better
Than every straight white male.
She drove like she was asian.
She swam like she was black.
She jumped like a caucasian
With a dolphin on her back.
She wasn’t good at anything;
If she tried, she’d fail
But she was still ten-times better
Than every straight white male.
Filed under Poems
My teacher asks “What’s the square root of nine?”
I say the answer is three.
The girlfriend asks “What’s the value of X”
And I say “She means nothing to me!”
Filed under Poems
I found a pet I like to rub.
I brought it home and named it club.
Now folks aren’t sure how they should feel
After they learn my pet’s a seal.
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I wanted to buy a unique pet
Like a hedgehog from the store.
I asked how to tell the girls from the boys.
“The boys have one spike more.”
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The hunter said, “Look! A lesbian bear!
“Grab a rifle and go get her!”
I asked how to tell it’s a lesbian bear;
“They’ll eat snakes, but they like beavers better.”
Filed under Poems
Ten persent of school
Is lurning how to get along.
Forty-two persent
Is lurning that you spelled stuph rong.
Maybe five persent
Is how to fill your plate and cup.
The other eighty-five persent
Is how to add things up.
Filed under Poems
A guy got an idea
To raise monsters from the dead
And show them to the public
Without approval from the Fed.
It all went wrong and people died;
Observers doffed their hats.
Is this the film Jurassic Park
Or behind the scenes of Cats?
Filed under Poems
Whether people treat you badly
Or whether they treat you fine
Is directly correlated
To your possession of a spine.
Filed under Poems
There once was a man from Saigon
Who needed to mow his lawn.
He saw someone wan
And asked “Genghis Khan?”
But it was just his neighbor, Sean.
Filed under Poems
I sleep on a bed of money
But still no one respects me
‘Cause I pay my bills with tiny beds
As my conscience directs me.
Filed under Poems
Today I’m writing poems
To folks I’ve never met
Because the woman that I love
Has not existed yet.
Why I am alone tonight
I surely understand,
But no man can be lonely
When he has his own right hand.
Filed under Poems