I think if I were a nun
I’d want to carry a gun
‘Cause I wouldn’t enjoy
Being mistook for a boy
When the priest says he wants to “have fun.”
Tag Archives: Short
Texas Nursery Rhymes
The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout.
Down came the fist!
It’s guts went spilling out.
Out came the kleenex
To wipe the guts away
And the not-so-puny human
Just went on with his day.
Filed under Poems
If “The Red Wheelbarrow” Is Good, Why Isn’t This?
Her love made me warm and fuzzy
Like a bit of french cheese
Left in a sauna over the weekend
But, alas, she had fleas.
Filed under Poems
40 Virgins Is A Better Incentive… Just Saying
They mentioned becoming Jewish.
They said I ought and should.
Then the bris and lack of bacon came up
And Hell started to sound real good.
Filed under Poems
When “Beauty” Becomes An Industry
There are some people named “she”
Who want, to a man’s heart, the key
So they wear a disguise
For their tits, hips, and eyes
To find men who will “love me for me.”
Filed under Poems
That’ll Wake You Up!
Some people pour milk in their coffee.
Some people pour milk in their tea.
This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.
It was as you’d expect it to be.
Filed under Poems
True Dat… Lmao
I wanted to pass the Turing test.
I tried and tried my very best.
But I used an apostrophe when I spelled “theyre.”
They called me a bot but I didn’t care.
Filed under Poems
Great Name, Slightly-Maggoty Flavor
If I were a fruit
I would be a dragonfruit
‘Cause no one eats those.
Filed under Poems
What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn
If birds ate at restaurants
I imagine KFC
Would be a lot more popular.
The reason might just be
That folks would eat at restaurants
Where birds would frequent less.
You might think that’s racist
But that’s my fairest guess.
Filed under Poems
*Cough* It Helps A LOT *Cough*
There once was an irreverent poet
With a blog, and he wanted to grow it
But with few likes per post
The internet host
Told google results not to show it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 