My girlfriend left me yesterday,
Just took her stuff and went,
Yet left behind a little gift
For her now former-gent.
She left a bottle of soy sauce,
My sorrows for to drown.
She just could not resist the urge
To Kikkoman when he’s down.
Tag Archives: Short
Romance, California Style
It may have been love
If that’s what you call it,
‘Cause I liked her tits
And she liked my wallet.
As it turned out later
Hers and mine were both fake
But we both loosed our hair buns
And took what we could take.
Filed under Poems
Honorable Mentions Include: Lackey, Thug, And Fall Guy… They Just Don’t Rhyme As Easily
It may not be fun to be a grunt,
A minion, red-shirt, or blackguard,
But you’ll surely be remembered
When one sees your business card!
I Apparently Have Neither
Intelligence is knowing
That Xanthan Gum’s squiggly.
Wisdom is not suggesting it
As a flavor for Wrigley.
Filed under Poems
The “Happy And You Know It” Verse That Got Me Fired
If you need special education
And can’t digest information,
If you need special education
Thump your chest!
(Thump thump thump thump…)
Filed under Poems
Hauling You
I said your boyfriend’s got
A hell of an ass.
You said he’s an amputee.
I said I meant
The ass on his arm.
Now you aren’t friends with me.
Filed under Poems
On This Cats And I Agree
Humans are stupid,
But that’s not a poem.
This line is filler.
Humans are so dumb.
Filed under Poems
Honestly, Get your Suffixes Straight!
If feminism means “go women”
And humanism means “people are good”
Then racism means “yay fast people,”
Or at least it should.
Filed under Poems
The Pleasures Of Working With Children
I didn’t know that hair could ache,
Just how much snot a nose can make,
How badly belly-buttons burn,
But today I guess I get to learn!
Filed under Poems
And, Somewhere, A Naked Professor Sheds A Tear Over His Sushi And Immediately Regrets It…
If wishes were fishes
We’d eat way more trout,
If thoughts were diplomas
We’d have much more clout,
If logic were clothing
We’d mostly be nude,
But if teardrops were onions
We’d really be screwed.
Filed under Poems
