If everybody had a gun
The world would be a lot of fun
And if everyone died ‘cause I was wrong
No one would complain this poem ain’t long.
Tag Archives: Silly
Eight Lines In Two Minutes… I’m Inspired 🥰
Tonight I was abducted
By a girl with rosy hair
And forced into abiding love
Of depth both fine and rare.
She’s brushing her teeth now
And I’m trying to write this fast.
(This wasn’t my first “my girl’s here” poem
And it surely won’t be my last).
Filed under Poems
The First Zebra Is Born
There was a majestic white horse
Who was, of nature, a force.
She said “It’s alright
“That our kid’s black and white”
But her husband still wants a divorce.
Filed under Poems
Bird of Paradise
Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier
If I’d been born as an eel,
But then when a movie takes a shocking turn
I wouldn’t know how to feel…
Then I go on Google to find an animal
That’s happiest, and today I found it:
Introducing the greatest bird ever…
The American Bushtit.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Made An Effort This Time?
Every other day it seems
I write a poem good,
And every other day
I say I probably should.
Today I settled in between,
Insofar as it’s eight lines long
And includes some funny words
Like spelunker and dipthong.
Filed under Poems
All Part Of A Complete Breakfast
The toaster makes you crispy bread.
The fridge chills out your meals.
The plate will hold your citrus fruit
And the garbage holds the peels.
The dishwasher will clean things up
And there’s cereal on the shelf.
The pit trap on the front porch
Means you enjoy it by yourself.
Filed under Poems
Petty Thoughts
One Wednesday a mouse got into the house
Of the woman I love, heart and soul.
She has a cat who’s remarkably fat
But knows not its mouse-catching role.
Her friends have a pug. He’s remarkably ugly
In an adorable way.
He got rewarded because we reported
He pooped twice in the same day.
All of these pets and the prizes they get
Cannot help my heart softly wish
That just for a day I was treated the way
The people I love treat their fish.
Filed under Poems
It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends
Toses ate ted
Violets ate blue.
Appatently changing a lettet
Makes things hungty, ctew!
Filed under Poems
The Real Monster Is The Underpaid Babysitter Who Reads This Poem To Your Kids Before Bed
Beds are safe and soft and warm
And in them you won’t come to harm.
But when you wake to pee at night
Then be harmed you may well might.
That’s why when you have to pee
Don’t get up for the W.C.
Your mattress was absorbantly designed
And I promise mom and dad won’t mind!
Filed under Poems
Suck It, Hanging Gardens Of Babylon!
It rises like a mountain,
Slopes gently like a hill,
Softer than a lullaby
And gives me such a thrill;
A spectacle, a marvel,
And my mouth will never shut
As I gaze with loving splendor
On my girl’s majestic butt.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 