If you have a snake for a pet
I think it’s a pretty safe bet
That you have one or two kidneys.
You thought this would end differently?
How judgmental can you get?
Tag Archives: Silly
Sarsaparilla Is Southern After All…
I opened a bottle of root beer
And smiled at the sweetness and fizz.
You probably don’t think that sounds racist
But I’m white, so it probably is.
Filed under Poems
That’ll Wake You Up!
Some people pour milk in their coffee.
Some people pour milk in their tea.
This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.
It was as you’d expect it to be.
Filed under Poems
True Dat… Lmao
I wanted to pass the Turing test.
I tried and tried my very best.
But I used an apostrophe when I spelled “theyre.”
They called me a bot but I didn’t care.
Filed under Poems
What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn
If birds ate at restaurants
I imagine KFC
Would be a lot more popular.
The reason might just be
That folks would eat at restaurants
Where birds would frequent less.
You might think that’s racist
But that’s my fairest guess.
Filed under Poems
And Then There Were Just 14 Balls
I asked a higher being,
The all-knowing and all seeing
If I should turn my life around
Or stay the same, all safe and sound.
I saw a vision in the blue
And what it said had to be true.
I summoned my courage and focused my zen.
It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”
Filed under Poems
Me Too/Two/To
After my boss said “You’re fired”
I bought the Harley I’d always admired
But without my car
I don’t travel too far.
I think it’s because I’m two-tired.
Filed under Poems
I’m Not Advocating Kidnapping, But…
We once had damsels in distress
And knights to ride to their aid.
Although the knights and damsels are gone
The distress somehow has stayed.
As the all-knowing poet
I have a solution of course:
We need more women who love dragons
And fewer men who own a horse.
Filed under Poems
Fline Then
I gave someone a gift
Of pigeons sitting on a rock.
When they asked why I told them:
“I don’t give a flying flock.”
Filed under Poems
Accidental Victories
Alex Trebek said “It’s used to indicate
“A person or object in the speaker’s sight.”
Bewildered, I asked “What is that?”
And it turns out I was right.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 