Tag Archives: Dogs

Ensuring Adequate Nutrition To Underprivileged Animals (Oh SNAP!)

Some Americans on food stamps

Are demanding food for pets,

‘Cause “pets are more than something that you own.”

I say cut the stamps

And let Lady eat the tramps…

Save money and kill two birds with one stone!

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My High School Love Life

The car windows are steamy.

My chest is warm and bare.

My fingers tingle, running

Gently through her golden hair.

Her chin is in my fingers

And I pull her lips to mine.

Our tongues do dance a tango

That defines the word divine.

I pause, she gasps and whimpers

But I say “I’ll be back soon.”

I step into the parking lot

Beneath the crescent moon.

I can read “humane society”

Despite the evening fog.

I tell the clerk “I’ll take her,”

And that’s how I met my dog.

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He Had Seven Vowels And No Courage

I played scrabble

With my chihuahua.

I played “encumbrance”

Then took a shower,

Hiked twenty miles,

Went to work, went to bed,

Then came back to find

My chihuahua had fled.

It hadn’t played letters,

And my face grew a grin.

I may’ve lost my dog

But still an overall win.

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What’s A Furry Anyway?

Dogs are lovely.

Cats are not.

I guess It’s inappropriate

To call either of them “hot.”

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Covfefe: Another Possible Story

I remember my dog

That I had as a lad.

We’d go to the water

And I’d swim with him.

I named him Covallion

Cause I thought it sounded hot.

Turns out he was a girl

So he/she became FeFe.

Cov/Fefe and I

Would eat cake by the lake.

Probably wasn’t healthy for her

But she’d still eat. It was neat!

Then Cov/Fefe died.

How she ate… It was fate.

This poem’s depressing,

But so’s the meme, it would seem.

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The Evening Following Fido’s Emancipation

Tasty chunka meat

Sizzlin’ nicely on the stove.

Who’s “master” now, Bitch?

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Midnight Foot Warmer

Soft doggy, warm doggy,

You I do implore:

Happy doggy, sleepy doggy,

Please don’t poop at midnight right outside my bedroom door.


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See Spot Run

See spot run.

Spot runs fast

Because if Spot

Comes in last

Spot will lose

His family’s approval

Which will lead, in relation

To his house, his removal.

Spot enjoys

Not living on the street

So Spot runs fast.

Of foot, he is fleet.

Spot comes in second

Which Jane thinks is slick.

Alas, Spot’s owner

Is a Dick.

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Small Dog, Big Mistake

I saw on my lawn, between the mounds

Of wood chips, a dog of 15 pounds.

It was white and fluffy and ugly as sin

And it was having its way with my newspaper bin.

So I snuck over and scooped him up.

Oh, you should have heard that pup!

He barked and wailed and growled and bit.

I knew no way to calm the…git

And so I took it to the pound

To hope the monster would be found.

The police met me at the door.

As I was cuffed, I asked “what for?”

I was arrested for my labors

For my lawn has no wood chips: ‘Twas my neighbor’s.

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An Unappreciated Gift

The shape of Mount Everest,

And nearly the size

My dog’s defecation

On my neighbor’s lawn lies.

The shape of an axe

(Because that’s what it is),

My neighbor reminds me

To keep off what’s his.

The shape of a puppy

And the acent of a fart,

My dog watches this thinking

“They just don’t get my art.”

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