Tag Archives: Life

The Victors

You see the victors on parade,

Their smiles of sweet relief.

You hear their proffered words of thanks

For the ending of their grief.

But what they do not realize

Through their newfound lack of pain

Is that to stay victorious

They’ll have to win again.

They’ll have to reface challenges.

They’ll have to reforge swords,

Reconquer their old demons

And rechallenge hated hoards.

They’ll have to suffer all again

And all this not to grow

But just to stay a victor:

And maintain the status quo.

Yes we conquered those we feared

And silenced those we hate,

But should we take such lavish pride

In merely stalemate?

So watch the victors on parade

But envy them do not!

You would not wish on anyone

The pain the victors brought

Nor would you wisely wish to feel

Their pride in wielding well

The arms and armor of the war

That merged the Earth and Hell.

One day we’ll see no victory,

No men will march with pride.

We will erect no monuments

For those who bravely died.

We’ll stand without a trophy

And we’ll not conceal our grins

For all will be the victors

Come the day when no one wins.

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Ancient Wisdom

“Let he who is without fault

Cast the first stone.”

-Ye Olde Baseball for Beginners

“Just because my path is different

“Doesn’t mean I’m lost.”

-Traditional Male Excuse

“Even though I walk

“Through the darkest valley

“I will fear no evil

“For you are with me.”

-Man With Concealed Handgun License

“Faith can move mountains.”

-Faith’s Lazy Little Brother

“There’s something about a woman

“With a loud mind

“Who sits in silence, smiling

“Knowing she can crush you

“With the truth.”

-Some hoe, probably

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Things No One Has Ever Said In The History Of Everything

“My wife needs more pillows.”

“That mullet looks great!”

“Soccer’s exciting.”

“The world needs more hate.”

“Pink armpit hair’s hot.”

“I got a job with my arts degree.”

“I wish that I had gotten caught.”

“I really, super don’t have to pee.”

“I really hate inner tubes.”

“That was a great United flight.”

“She’d look better with smaller boobs.”

“The valedictorian’s getting laid tonight!”

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Size Matters

Bigger is better in terms of pianos,

4×4’s, salaries, and dicks.

But smaller is better in the eyes of go-getters

When it comes to the waist size of chicks.

——————————————————–

Bigger is better, the man would insist

When it comes to masculine stuff

Because those said men have never had things

That were, in our eyes, big enough.

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Oligarchy Elementary Is Accepting New Students

I beg your pardon

For I mean to yap at thee

My case for nonconsensual

Reallocation of apathy,

For were we to allow

Our youth to expand

Their range of beliefs

We’d soon lose command

Of the best and the brightest

And the dullards alike.

Though the latter don’t argue

The former’d take a hike

And should free-thinkers see

All the ways we have lied…

Well, that is a notion

We must not abide.

Thus we must imprison

(At least to an extent)

Those who’ve not yet reached

The age of consent

And proceed to tell them

Facts they will ignore

To distract from the world

That they long to explore.

We’ll teach them arithmetic,

Reading, and writing

But most of all that

There is no need for fighting

For if each one resisted

Each oppressive foe

Then our script would be flipped

We, the high, become low.

Thus state education

In all things miscellaneous

Shall ensure that our underlings

Are not extemporaneous.

Thus closes my pitch

For public education.

We overlords live

Thanks to school’s misdirection.

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Don’t Piss Off A Nurse

If one’s life relies upon

The lungs of an automaton

Prudence dictates to be couth

With the medical attendant youth.

Everything can be made worse

When dealing with a jilted nurse

So to those on life support:

Life’s long unless your temper’s short.

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All The Credit To You!

It took almost six whole years

But this blog has made it’s mark.

One-thousand and five subscribers

Have felt TDT’s spark.

It proves, with dedication,

Anyone can win it:

I did in 69 months

What a bikini-clad person does in minutes!

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40 Virgins Is A Better Incentive… Just Saying

They mentioned becoming Jewish.

They said I ought and should.

Then the bris and lack of bacon came up

And Hell started to sound real good.

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That’ll Wake You Up!

Some people pour milk in their coffee.

Some people pour milk in their tea.

This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.

It was as you’d expect it to be.

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Yep, Still Single…

Cancer is better than feminists.

Of this I am convinced.

I know people who beat cancer

And haven’t heard from it since.

But fate is not so happy

For those who’ve contracted feminism

For between them and common sense

Is a nigh-incurable schism.

Cancer kills quickly and painfully.

Feminism’s mostly the same

Except it lacks social stigma

And casts a whole lot more blame.

Feminists ask for equality

While cancer makes all of us equal.

Cancer terminates us while feminism

Makes an all-female terminator sequel.

And if you find you’re a feminist

Whether long-term or out of the blue

You have to live with yourself. With cancer

That’s something you don’t have to do.

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