Who drove by a lemonade stand
And thought about it later
And decided, instead of lemons,
The -ade would be better with gators?
Tag Archives: Humor
Yet We Know All About Sea Cucumber Reproduction…
If you took the Bible
And replaced the words “Mommy, look!”
With “I like to eat babies”
You’d have the very same book.
The same can be said for “Croissant,”
And “Wherefore art thou Juliet.”
I find it quite surprising
No one’s written a thesis on this yet.
Filed under Poems
Maybe It Tasted Good A Few Years Ago?
I want a sandwich
With clams, beets, and garlic
Sprinkled with liver and thyme
Topped with two scoops
Of pistachio ice cream
And the zest of a two-week-old lime
All smeared on a loaf
Of gluten-free flatbread
Served on a hard rubber plate.
You get it when you order
A nice BLT.
I call it “The Internet Date.”
Filed under Poems
Acrostic Pickup Lines
H is for “Hey hot stuff!”
E is for “Eek! Sorry mom.”
Y is for “Yikes.”
Filed under Poems
I’m Neither Micro Nor Soft… If You Know What I Mean
I once saw a lass dressed in lace
Who had the most beautiful face.
I said “please don’t hate
“But my name’s Windows 8.”
Then I asked “Can I crash at your place?”
Dumbledore and Me
As Dumbledore once said
When called upon to speak:
“I have a few words to say:
“Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak.”
These words describe my mental state
It’s been that sort of week.
Filed under Poems
It Would Be Called “231,” Since Women Only Get 77 Soldiers On The Hundred
It’s an age of all-female remakes
Like Ghost Busters and Oceans 8.
My faithful readers probably think
This is a trend I’d hate.
Instead I think the opposite;
It’s something I’m totally for
And here are some beloved movies
To remake if they make more:
How about “The Godmother?”
“Lady of the Rings?”
“The Good, the Less Good, and the Strong Independent Woman
“Concerned Less With Appearance Than Other Things?”
How ’bout all-female “Fight Club”
Or “Saving Private Ryan?”
How about a “Hacksaw Ridge”
That no one has to die in?
I jest, I jest (At least I hope).
But I pray that in 2019
The all-female “300” reboot
Hits the Imax screen.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 