Wherefore do we seek a verse
From yonder parent, babe, or nurse
To instruct us in verbal mosaic
Both obfuscatory and archaic?
Wherefore, also I must ask,
Do we encourage such a task
Except to inhabit the proverbial sack
With those who a Y chromosome lack?
And yet contests and prizes plenty
Abound for verses-sentimenty.
Especially now that need of a bard
Is largely supplanted by the Hallmark card.
Filed under Poems
No liars are more common than those
Who support their thoughts with “a study shows.”
You’ll likely find, with some frustration,
These studies lack any citation.
For every “yes” a study may show
A different study somehow finds “no.”
Those who cry about the news
Do their fair share of pick-and-choose.
Filed under Poems
If you met a murderous clown
When you’re out for a night on the town
And they bought you a drink
What do you think?
Should you take it or turn Snuggles down?
Filed under Poems
Somewhere between the lobby
And my destination floor
The elevator chose
Not to move up anymore.
Perhaps the lift malfunctioned
When the console met my fists
But hey, no more classic rock
With jazzy little twists!
Filed under Poems
We give men all the power
And we see it misused
In the eyes of the women
Who we find abused.
We give women the power
And all over the nation
Are innocent men
Ruined by false accusation.
Whoever’s in power
And however they’re dressed
We find both men and women
Are most often distressed.
When you talk about power
And forget about “who”
To look at the “what”
Then you’ll know what to do.
Filed under Poems
With a voice like something crushed between a bagpipe warming up
And an elephant gargling human teeth, kevlar, and 7-Up
She turned her face towards me (which neither she nor I enjoyed)
And said “Thank you for listening. That was “Hey you” by Pink Floyd.”
Filed under Poems
America is like Halo:
It started out with violence
And an independent spirit
Fighting an immortal empire
Who knew well that we’d fear it.
Then the beloved sequel came
And we gave up the slaves we stole,
Fought a battle on both sides
To forge our true united soul.
Then came history’s “Halo 3”
Which was forgettable all in all,
Clearly not its glorious peak
But it hadn’t hit the wall.
When the Vietnam years came
Thus started Halo 4
Where we spat on our own soldiers
Drafted into pointless war.
Now here we are in Halo 5
Where profit is the king,
Equality is an afterthought
And everything’s covered in bling.
We who love the franchise past,
The Halo 1’s and 2’s
Who love America in spirit
Not America in the news
Look hopefully at the future
While feeling kind of vexed
Wondering what the powers that be
Will inevitably screw up next.
Filed under Poems
There is no good or evil,
Just what we like or don’t.
Nothing is impossible,
Only what we will or won’t.
For every fearful sceptic
Who says “Man cannot fly”
There is Wright or Icarus
Who’s laughing from the sky.
You’ll be blessed with many Yeses
For every worldly No.
Will you risk Youtube infamy
To give your dream a go?
Filed under Poems
Go back a century or so
And you’ve got places blacks can’t go.
You’d be shamed to dare to love
A person from a class above.
Today my alma maters wants
To build us “No white student” haunts
And though we seek to seem the same
What’s “Commonplace” is seen as lame.
Back then we fought for equal rights
For blacks and browns and reds and whites.
Now in our “That’s racist” nation
We praise illegal immigration.
Does no one else yet see the flaw
In praising those who break the law,
The symptoms of a dying nation
Shouting for resegregation?
Yes, I want love, so please desist
With calling me “Supremacist”
And maybe past our skin we’ll find
We share a human heart and mind.
Filed under Poems
They told me to lift dumbbells
‘Cause my arms were far too thin.
I couldn’t check if they were right
‘Cause Congress wouldn’t let me in.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 