Somewhere between the lobby
And my destination floor
The elevator chose
Not to move up anymore.
Perhaps the lift malfunctioned
When the console met my fists
But hey, no more classic rock
With jazzy little twists!
Tag Archives: Poetry
It’s the “-Archy” Part That Worries Me
We give men all the power
And we see it misused
In the eyes of the women
Who we find abused.
We give women the power
And all over the nation
Are innocent men
Ruined by false accusation.
Whoever’s in power
And however they’re dressed
We find both men and women
Are most often distressed.
When you talk about power
And forget about “who”
To look at the “what”
Then you’ll know what to do.
Filed under Poems
Paper Heart
Twenty years or so before
I turned the age of 24
I feared to give a paper heart
To that one special lass.
Ten years after, now 14
I’ve had my eye on other queens
But my feeling for the paper heart girl
Never seems to pass.
In the present world we find
Our troubled and still childish mind
Called to give the other sex
Eternal loyalty.
I’m loyal to who understands
My paper heart and shaking hands.
Does she still exist? Perhaps
In ten more years we’ll see.
Filed under Poems
Why I Don’t Go To Open-Mics Anymore
With a voice like something crushed between a bagpipe warming up
And an elephant gargling human teeth, kevlar, and 7-Up
She turned her face towards me (which neither she nor I enjoyed)
And said “Thank you for listening. That was “Hey you” by Pink Floyd.”
Filed under Poems
The Analogy Is Actually Kinda Perfect
America is like Halo:
It started out with violence
And an independent spirit
Fighting an immortal empire
Who knew well that we’d fear it.
Then the beloved sequel came
And we gave up the slaves we stole,
Fought a battle on both sides
To forge our true united soul.
Then came history’s “Halo 3”
Which was forgettable all in all,
Clearly not its glorious peak
But it hadn’t hit the wall.
When the Vietnam years came
Thus started Halo 4
Where we spat on our own soldiers
Drafted into pointless war.
Now here we are in Halo 5
Where profit is the king,
Equality is an afterthought
And everything’s covered in bling.
We who love the franchise past,
The Halo 1’s and 2’s
Who love America in spirit
Not America in the news
Look hopefully at the future
While feeling kind of vexed
Wondering what the powers that be
Will inevitably screw up next.
Filed under Poems
At Least “Epic Fails” Are Epic
There is no good or evil,
Just what we like or don’t.
Nothing is impossible,
Only what we will or won’t.
For every fearful sceptic
Who says “Man cannot fly”
There is Wright or Icarus
Who’s laughing from the sky.
You’ll be blessed with many Yeses
For every worldly No.
Will you risk Youtube infamy
To give your dream a go?
Filed under Poems
I Guess This Makes Me A Bigot, Right?
Go back a century or so
And you’ve got places blacks can’t go.
You’d be shamed to dare to love
A person from a class above.
Today my alma maters wants
To build us “No white student” haunts
And though we seek to seem the same
What’s “Commonplace” is seen as lame.
Back then we fought for equal rights
For blacks and browns and reds and whites.
Now in our “That’s racist” nation
We praise illegal immigration.
Does no one else yet see the flaw
In praising those who break the law,
The symptoms of a dying nation
Shouting for resegregation?
Yes, I want love, so please desist
With calling me “Supremacist”
And maybe past our skin we’ll find
We share a human heart and mind.
Filed under Poems
Peasant Problems
They told me to lift dumbbells
‘Cause my arms were far too thin.
I couldn’t check if they were right
‘Cause Congress wouldn’t let me in.
Filed under Poems
She’s Lying…
Everything’s fine.
I won’t get mad.
I don’t care about your exes.
I’m almost ready.
I’ll call you right back.
I don’t mind you buying that Lexus.
I really don’t care.
I really don’t mind.
I really (insert anything here).
No, I’m not jealous
And if we get married
I’ll never make you watch Shakespeare.
Filed under Poems
The Hippies Are Alive And Well
Sometimes I like to sit
And feel the wind between my toes,
To plant some seeds behind my ears
And see if something grows,
To boil a pot of water
Then cool it with my breath.
I call it “life with nature.”
Dad calls it “side-effects of meth.”
Filed under Poems
