Tag Archives: Truth

The Optimist Manifesto

There are no starless evenings

And never will there be.

Nothing stops existing

Just because you cannot see.

If you call a glass half-empty

Or say one plus three is two

You do not hurt reality

Except the part that’s you.

And if you look up at the sky

Upon some cloudy night

And say the stars are lovely

When there’s not a star in sight

That doesn’t make you foolish

And you’ll only seem a dope

To those who never knew of faith

And have forgotten hope.

I pledge to always be the fool

Who calls a crow a dove,

Who calls the wind the breath of God,

Whose sin is too much love.

While I may not know what’s real

I know that I know not

So why not choose to fill the void

With one more happy thought?

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No Signal

Last evening I went to a party

To enjoy silly games with my friends,

To gaze in their eyes and avoid all the lies

That daily the Buy Stuff Guild sends.

But when I arrived at the meeting

I found my compatriots dead

For they talked as robots, just of things, not of thoughts,

Comparing what their Facebooks said.

Now I wander the streets, I the phoneless

Through the crowd who feel proud of their debt.

Is there still a someone who is friends with the sun,

To whom strangers’ hellos are no threat?

Though I may be lost I still wander

And my home is wherever I’m free.

As I whistle alone, just a man with no phone,

I hope that you’ll smile back at me.

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What We Learned: Don’t End A Line With “Desserts”

Lemon flavored water,

Lemon cheesecake and desserts,

Lemon flavored pepper

Are a few examples of how, with lemons, society flirts.

The only lemon item

That people don’t enjoy

Are actual plain ol’ lemons.

(Also maybe lemon bok choy).

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I Guess The Un-Levered Few Don’t Reproduce As Much

Somewhere around the first year ever

Somebody pulled a very wrong lever

And installed in the heads of the humans to come

What, on paper, looks brilliant but is really just dumb.

When man 1.0 emerged from the ocean

At the dawn of all time he was filled with the notion

That life as he knew it as far as he could see

Was something to be taken seriously

And a serious life, as he deemed at that time

Was to have the most wealth in the light of the lime.

So man 1.0 went on to fight wars,

To invent Gods and whiskey and sliding glass doors

Each sincerely believing his life was endowed

By something that made his life special somehow.

And meanwhile the malfunctions who wanted no power

Would sleep in on Sunday and sing in the shower

And wholeheartedly laugh at the hard-working host

Knowing he who wants least will end up with the most.

And so it continues by chance or by fate

That despite each progressive human update

The lever once thrown has not yet been undone

Thus why so many people have so little fun.

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And Yet We Still Believe It

So began the monologue:

“Yes, of course I’ll train the dog!”

And in hindsight this we see

Was the greatest lie in history.

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But Then People Won’t Think Everything In My Life Is Perfect And Be Indifferent/Slightly Insecure About The Whole Thing!

There’s something to be said

For chatting without snap,

Books without face,

Interacting without that crap…

Gramming that’s not instant,

Interests that aren’t pins,

Singing without tweeting.

Real friends don’t need log-ins.

I think our society’s forgotten

The value of offline truth

So why not forget your password

And go enjoy your youth?

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Sorry Salespeople…

No, I don’t want to be famous,

Don’t want to have power or wealth.

I don’t even want to be happy

Or have peace of mind or my health.

I don’t want a house or a garden,

Two kids and a white picket fence.

I’d give up all these and my brainstem

Just to not hear your two-cents!

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The Pleasures Of Discomfort

Today I stood out in the rain

And didn’t wear my hood.

It was frigid and soggy, yes,

But still felt pretty good.

I stood and looked at nothing much

And let the boredom grow

And those tiny discomforts helped

Much more than you can know.

I talked to her at a bus stop

And watched her walk away.

I’m stronger from the fire, now

A pot instead of clay.

And as I walk home in a pair

Of shoes devoid of style

Empty pockets will warm my hands.

My whole being is a smile.

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The Solvers and The Havers

Most men enjoy solving problems;

It gives them a meaningful life.

Alas, this is not something wanted

By most men’s eventual wife.

A man will fix up an auto,

A house, a business, a toy,

But it’s not solving problems but having them

That I’ve noticed most women enjoy.

A woman takes pleasure in saying

“I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m gross,”

Because other women say “me too”

And by such connection grow close.

If a man tells another “I’m hungry”

Another will say “have a snack”

And the problem is solved with five words

And the men to their task may go back.

Now the trouble occurs when the solvers

Treat problem-lovers the same:

A woman says “I’m bored,” and the man

Says “go play a video game.”

Now if the woman obeys him

She’ll prob’ly no longer be bored

And thus need another discomfort

Until her drama-quota’s restored,

So the man has given a solution

Which really won’t help her a bit

So she says “you don’t understand me!”

And runs off and calls him a git.

The man is confused by her answer

But has a solution to that:

He says to himself “bitch be crazy”

And then changes the sink in his flat.

So men, if you want to help women

Be happy then here’s what to do:

Have lots of flaws in your character

So she’ll always have drama with you.

And women, you know how to please a man

And don’t need advising from me,

But (as a man I must say this)

Without drama how happy you’ll be!

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A Lie Detector Poem

Such is the river adamant:

Neither deep

Nor swift upon the rocks

Of misunderstanding,

Nor should she nod

When it means “optic nerve,”

Or so the sages said.

Two times the wolf.

Two times the narrator.

So why is this a lie detector?

Just read this to someone and ask them what it means to them.

If they say “it’s crap,” congratulations! You have an honest friend.

If they say “the bit about the wolf was chilling” (or anything else, for that matter) you have a suck up, a liar, or (worst of all) a PhD on your hands.

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