I love you more than anything,
And if you were to change
Into an evil living-plastic moth
Or something equally strange,
Something ugly, something violent,
Something truly vile to touch
Then I want you to know
That I might not love you quite as much.
Tag Archives: Love
Too Soon?
You’ll remember me
When you smell the sun
On the earth between your toes
In the forest we
Explored as kids,
Where the tree we planted grows.
You’ll remember me
When the bulldogs win,
When you wear my number 9
When you see two kids
Sitting in the stands
Though the lights no longer shine.
You’ll remember me
When you hear our song,
The one I chose to sing
When I kneeled down
And I gave my voice
‘Cause I couldn’t buy a ring.
You’ll remember me
When our children smile
And ask you for a snack,
As you trim their crust
And recall that day,
When our baby hugged you back.
You’ll remember me
When the house we built
Is serene in Autumn’s glow,
When the snow comes down
And its quiet like
It was eighteen years ago.
You’ll remember me
As our thin white hair
Falls on our Yahtzee game.
You’ll remember this
And so much more
If you’ll just tell me your name.
Filed under Poems
Lady and the Tramp
She was a Sagittarius
Who played a Stradivarius.
I was a Virgo
Who played the trombone.
She spent her days
Reading music and plays
While I played Tetris
Beside my pet stone.
She was a sommelier,
Who perused cassoulet
And to whom piquant tinctures
Were je ne sais quois.
But down by the lake
I jumped out of her cake
And I’m pretty certain
That she noticed moi.
Filed under Poems
‘Ow Ore-ible!
I said I was her rock,
Her anchor, her wall.
She sold me to a mining company.
Alas, that is all.
Filed under Poems
The Truly Special Snowflake
I’m walking through the winter sky,
A bit if H2O,
Uniquely changed by hardship to
A tiny flake of snow.
My life is but a moment long,
But soft and cool and free.
My heart will always be cold as ice
So yours won’t have to be.
The mighty citadels of clouds
Are signs of what I was,
But I don’t mind departing, for
It’s what a snowflake does
So a kid at the windowsill
Will see me, clear and bright
And now that for a while still
The world will be alright.
Filed under Poems
There’s Someone For Everybody
I want you
Like vegan bacon,
Like rain on my birthday,
Like my car being towed.
I want you
Like an unreleased kraken,
Like a giant pet termite
Or a poisonous toad.
I want you
Like an IRS audit,
Like Buffy wanted
A vampire to slay.
Some might hate this poem
But I know you applaud it.
My wants may be wonky
But you like it that way.
Filed under Poems
My High School Love Life
The car windows are steamy.
My chest is warm and bare.
My fingers tingle, running
Gently through her golden hair.
Her chin is in my fingers
And I pull her lips to mine.
Our tongues do dance a tango
That defines the word divine.
I pause, she gasps and whimpers
But I say “I’ll be back soon.”
I step into the parking lot
Beneath the crescent moon.
I can read “humane society”
Despite the evening fog.
I tell the clerk “I’ll take her,”
And that’s how I met my dog.
Filed under Poems
She’s Got Legs!
I see a little spider
Crawling up my leg.
A part of me is screaming!
It wants to plead and beg,
But as the beast gets closer
My mind begins to clear
And I realize that, in this spider,
I have nothing to fear.
And so I watch her scuttle
From my ankle to my knee.
My two green eyes watch her
And her eight black eyes watch me,
And as our eyes make contact
I feel our spirits join.
The spider and I are friends now
As she crawls over my groin.
The spider meets my pelvis.
She passes o’er my hips.
Where once they brought me horror
Her eyes could now sink ships.
Her silky brunette body
Tempts me towards an unnamed sin
And I find myself attracted
To a patch that looks like a violin.
The spider now is crawling
Onto my left pectoral
And my mind’s engaged in matters
Of arrangements marital and floral.
She crawls onto my neck now,
Her gorgeous eyes the size of fleas.
She’s nearly to my head now
And I’m nearly on my knees.
She crawls onto my soul patch
And one of her footies slips.
I catch it and replace it
And she crawls onto my lips.
A kiss! A kiss! How lovely
As her mandibles meet mine.
I slip off into a restful sleep
As on me she starts to dine.
I don’t wake up that evening,
Nor tomorrow, nor the next,
Yet dead and cold as I may be
I do not feel vexed.
So when you see such spiders
In their web or in their lair
Instead of giving them the Kleenex
Try to show them that you care.
For though you’ll never meet them
On account of being desiccated
Your eyes will fill with baby spiders
To which you just might be related.
The babies ask “where’s daddy?”
And mommy spider’ll have a chat
And then they’ll go find love like us.
What’s more beautiful than that?
Filed under Lyrics
Not Your Average Love
She was a starving art history student,
Forced by fate towards whatever was prudent,
Yet she had a temptation she could not evade…
A man, in a sense, who with her heart played.
He was the Egyptian God of the dead,
With unlimited power and an animal’s head,
Yet despite devestation he doled out at will
His heart had an urge that he just couldn’t kill.
Her focus was on just money and Monet.
All of existence was under his sway.
She spent her days in the study of cubists.
He spent his evenings just being Anubis.
Somehow the two met at a holiday party.
She thought him a bad boy. He thought her a smarty.
The exchanged numbers and met up for brunch.
She loved his mystique. He loved how her bones crunch.
Yet, deep as their love was, they each said good bye
For they’d not live together unless she would die.
So ends the tale of this starcrossed romance
Of a girl and a God, both with un-gotten-into-pants.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 