There’s a guy in a political alliance
Who’s rightfully earned our defiance.
Instead of giving puppies hugs
He had them eaten alive by bugs
And yet you still say “Trust the science”?
Tag Archives: Postaday
Troubleshooting
This year I’ve devoted a considerable portion of time to two activities: Dating, and IT support. While normally doing both of these at the same time decreases the enjoyment in both activities, I’ve realized the two have a lot more in common than one might think. For example:
1. Bars are not good places to look for women or computers.
2. Most things you can’t recover from occur because of memory failures.
3. While tempting, upgrading to newer models is expensive and prone to supply shortages.
4. You will be appreciated for your people skills, not your technical expertise.
5. If you need to look up answers in a book, do it when you’re alone.
6. If something is smoking and/or leaking fluid, RUN!
7. You can know how things work, but you’ll rarely know why.
8. You sound smart if you notice incremental changes in appearance.
9. Nobody wants to hear graphic details (or details about graphics).
10. Most of the time you screw up, the error message comes too late to fix anything.
And the ultimate key:
11. When in doubt, make sure it’s turned on.
Also, the more energy you put in, the hotter everything gets.
Filed under To the Reader
Holding On And Letting Go
It’s not because she loved him
That she held the stranger’s hand
As she stepped aboard the Gallant
Which would take her from the land
Where the nightly cold and hunger
And the daily war and tears
Were all she’d ever known about
For all her 16 years.
It’s not because of longing
That she watched the coastline fade
As the sounds of need grew silent
Beneath the ocean’s serenade,
And it wasn’t to remember
That she fumbled through the sack
That contained some dirty souvenirs
The few she’d time to pack.
She held and she remembered
And she watched and she was sad
To lose her lonely, painful home:
All that she ever had.
It wasn’t for nostalgia
That she spent her many nights
Remembering the land of famine
Where she had no rights
Even though she had a new home
In a land of peace and rain.
It was simply that she knew
She’d never see that home again.
She held on and remembered
Before she slept, and she was glad
To now be somewhere better
Than the only home she’d had.
The refugee became a nurse
By the time she was all grown
In the only land of promise
That she had ever known.
She helped the people coming
From the homes they left behind
Who, like her, were forever
With their homelands intertwined.
Still she held on and remembered
To now distant fear and strife
And she turned her eyes to helping
Others make a better life.
She never knew the gentleman
Who held her hand that year
With the eyes that stared uncertainly
At his passing drawing near,
But she whispered to him gently
Through the hours of the night:
When you leave a home of pain behind
You’ll go somewhere alright.
He held on and remembered
And saw and understood
And closed his eyes and sailed off
To somewhere that was good.
Filed under Poems
A New Study Finds All This Began In 1960 When A Straight White Man Refused To Get Vaccinated
The average guy is a virgin.
The average girl is a hoe.
You can get a college degree
To combat toxic masculinity…
How’d we get here? I don’t know.
Filed under Poems
Tennis: 15, Baseball: Love (Football 6 +1 or +2)
The people writing the baseball rulebook
Really wrote down things like:
“When you throw a ball and it isn’t a ball
But it doesn’t get hit it’s a strike.”
But the people who wrote the tennis book
Just smiled, or so says the lore,
When they revealed their brand new way
To calculate the score.
Filed under Poems
Still No Cure For Cancer Though…
Every minute of every day
72 hours of film is uploaded and sent
Onto Youtube, and yet still people say
“Why’s there no good new content?”
Filed under Poems
Why IT Folks Have The Best Job Security
You hear me say, you hear me holler:
“Another day, another dollar.”
My boss says hey, my boss says “So,
“We bought a bot. You got to go.”
So I reply, so I concur:
“I don’t know why, but I guess sure.”
Then I left with a smile, since
My boss bought the bot from a Nigerian prince.
Filed under Poems
Never Again
To my one and only who left me to cry
Just a month after love in the month of July:
I hope in my heart you are happy and well
Though I know I won’t see you again!
To the one whom I sang to by river and trail
Without even a thought that our kinship could fail:
I hope in my heart that you’re singing right now
With a voice I’ll hear never again!
To the one I confided in joy and in pain,
Whom I kissed on a bridge in the darkness and rain:
I hope in my heart that you’ll never be lonely
Though I’ll never caress you again!
To the heart that you broke that is healing tonight
I promise you’ll once again feel alright!
I hope you keep hoping and loving forever,
For hoping for love is a worthy endeavor,
And because you loved once you’ll be light as a feather
Even if you love never again!
Filed under Poems
When The Man Upstairs Is Protecting You Against The Dangers Of Premarital Sex
I like to imagine that somewhere in Heaven
God is fighting a war
To defend me from many females who’d do any
Thing to show me how they adore
All that I am. Yes, God is that great
That he beats women off with a stick
So I can be alone, never answer my phone…
Yes, faith in the Lord does the trick.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 