There once was a man from St. Mary
Who’d be merry to marry Merry Mary.
Merry Mary, however,
Did forthrightly endeavor
Never ever to wed one so hairy.
There once was a man from St. Mary
Who’d be merry to marry Merry Mary.
Merry Mary, however,
Did forthrightly endeavor
Never ever to wed one so hairy.
Filed under Poems
There are two invisible powers
And both go by the name of “Love.”
Both share earthly symbols
Like a flower or a dove,
Both can feel spectacular
And to lose them feels rotten,
But only one is cherished
While the other is forgotten.
The first love, which we celebrate
Comes in many ways and rates,
Whether flourishing in one glance
Or through countless many dates.
It’s an all-consuming passion
That no drug can replicate,
Designed by God or nature
To ensure two people mate.
I prefer the second love,
Which many haven’t known,
Which can’t be felt by starry eyes
Or fire in the bone.
This love is not a feeling
But an action that we take
Not to gratify ourselves
But for another’s sake.
This second love is not reserved
For those with lovely faces.
Instead it’s most important for
Those found in darkened places,
And yet with equal vigor
To your wife and to your foe
You manifest the second love
And to both parties show.
You needn’t feel amorous
To help a stranger carry
A heavy bag, nor should you feel
Obliged to them to marry.
And yet the baffling part about
This second love these days
In when you show a person this
They’ll spurn it seven ways;
“Shee’s clingy,” or “He’s needy,”
Or “He’s trying way too hard,”
Or “He’s creepy,” or “She’s lying,
“So I must be on my guard.”
In most cases the rebuke
Is one of self-defense,
For many who show kindness
Are expecting recompense.
So when one shares the second love
For nothing but the good
It seems what was well-meaning
Is oft misunderstood.
I hope if you’re a giver
Of this secret second love,
The love for human brothers
Unconnected by their blood,
That you do not forget the gift
Or cease to feel or give,
For you’re an ever-scarcer breed
Who knows how best to live.
And if you may receive the gift
I formerly did mention
That you may understand it
As a love with good intention.
And if you’ve never thought of love
As something more than lust
I hope you read these verses
With an open mind, and trust
That if you try to love someone
For their sake, not your own,
That you will feel a universe
In which you’re less alone.
Filed under Poems
It would be nice if living were easy.
A life without pain would be grand!
Imagine that life, so sweet and delightful,
Where nothing is worthless or bland.!
I think of that life, where perfect is doable
Then I awake with a start
And go face a day that is average and gray
But hold the dream close in my heart.
Filed under Poems
There once was an Airbnb
That played host to none other than me.
The wifi was slow.
Will this upload? I don’t snow…
I guess given time we will see.
Filed under Poems
Every day I help people with technical trouble,
Decked out in my polo and three-day neck stubble.
I cycle the power to show them I care
And write “Problem exists between keyboard and chair.”
Filed under Poems
Yesterday I wrote a joke
And thought I’d write more later.
By later I had decomposed
Into a couch potater.
From the fact ai wrote “potater”
I suspect that you can see
This week has not inspired
My most vibrant artistry.
So tonight I have a fallback
That I’ve used in ages past
Where I write a bit on writing
And use words like “grand” and “vast.”
I make questionable decisions
And lines with uneven meter,
And rap up the inanity
By rhyming with saltpeter.
Filed under Poems
Just because last time you jumped
You injured yourself in the fall
Doesn’t mean you’ll be mistaken
If you once again give it your all.
Just because last time the verdict
Did not go the way you intended
Does not mean your life will be better
If you avoid being offended.
Just because pain is eternal
Doesn’t mean you should quit having fun.
Don’t be a fool! Get up! Go to school!
And oh, by the way, here’s a gun.
Filed under Poems
I wish there were a reality show
Where contestants stare at the screen
And ooh and ahh intermittantly
As if the viewer’s being seen
And ask deep, personal questions
Though their answers are rehearsed
Then during the end credits
Debate which viewer is the worst.
Filed under Poems
Today I want to teach you
How to preemptively retort:
This poem is like your penis
So you can’t complain it’s short.
Filed under Poems
A while ago, a farmer
Would be thought a cause of harm
If he didn’t use asbestos
To fireproof his farm.
A while ago a woman
Who was pregnant and upset
Was told her pain would go away
With a tasty cigarette.
A while ago a baby
Was calm as calm could be,
Unbothered by those nasty flies
Thanks to some DDT.
They told them “Trust the science”
And “You’re selfish to abstain.”
So here we watch as history
Repeats itself again.
Filed under Poems