It may have been love
If that’s what you call it,
‘Cause I liked her tits
And she liked my wallet.
As it turned out later
Hers and mine were both fake
But we both loosed our hair buns
And took what we could take.
Tag Archives: Men
Dragons > National Debt
A princess was stolen by dragons
Some hundreds of eons ago
And instead of waiting to be slain
The dragons just stir-fried the hoe.
The kingdom saved money on dresses
And a new sense of peace was acquired.
The dragons had balls, which meant
That dancing at balls ain’t required.
The knights stopped jousting each other
For no prizes were there to be won,
And the taxes went down, people made fewer gowns,
And the populace had lots of fun.
When you don’t have to pay for a princess
How happy the white knights can get.
The only downside is the dragons
Whose tummies have gotten upset.
Apparently Pearls And Swine Are Equal
A feminist told me
“All men are pigs!”
And I almost took some offense.
Then another told me
“Men and women are equal.”
Now the first woman’s making more sense.
Filed under Poems
Dating A 30-Year-Old
You ask will I love you
When you’re not a young lass,
When your hair’s gray and saggy
And so is your ass,
When the passion is gone
And the money is thin
And everything hurts
‘Neath our wrinkly skin.
Our hands come together
And I look straight at you.
“Of course I will darling!
“I already do.”
Filed under Poems
Life Without Makeup
Chapped lips, dry skin,
Hair without a bobby pin,
Baggy pants, hairy pits,
A shirt that hides any sign of tits,
Spotty face, mustache line,
Eau de toilette called “big ass pine,”
A house that others call a sty:
Just another great day of being a guy!
Filed under Poems
Lullaby For A Cynical Man-Child
Grizzly bear
Sitting there
Playing with
My ex-wife’s hair.
He seems happy.
She seems dead.
Yes I’m morbid.
Now, off to bed.
Filed under Poems
Why I Never Got Together With That Cute Girl In Class
What wonder has a flower,
A daisy or a rose,
To the clueless human
As on its way it goes?
A work of nature, beautiful,
Is worth not but a glance
For what interest has a human
In the idle ways of plants?
But a very ugly flower
That can nauseate by sight,
That makes you want to kick a baby,
Draw attention that just might.
So when you see the spiders
Crawling from my bloodshot eyes
I seek your fondness and attention.
‘Twas not that so very wise?
Filed under Poems
Questionable Pickup Line #473
If you see a girl you like
And say to her “my name is Mike”
Then it’d be a real shame
If that weren’t your real name.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 